I was the one to blame for my partner choices, subconsciously.
Here are the reasons why:
✨ I was ultra independent.
👉🏽I lived in my masculine energy because I was afraid of a man leaving, like my father did. I made sure that I would never be a stay at home mom (like my own mother), cater to a man, or ever allow a man to support me 100%. I worked extremely hard at a very young age and made sure that I was an independent woman and would never depend on a man.
👉🏽This led me down a rabbit hole of choosing men that were intimidated by me. I didn’t allow them to show up and play their lead role as a man in the relationship.
✨I was extremely responsible.
👉🏽When my dad left I became the leader in my family. I stepped up in my father’s place and took care of my mother because I believed she was too fragile to move forward alone.
👉🏽 I felt like there was no man who could do the job better than me so I remained the leader in all my relationships.
✨I feared loss of control
👉🏽 So I took control of all my relationships and unknowingly chose men who didn’t know how to lead. This made it feel safe to me. Because if I was the one in power, I would not get hurt.
👉🏽This trait came across to men as insecure because I didn’t like them having their autonomy. When in reality it was me dealing with my abandonment wounds. I was afraid of loss. Every man in my life left (my dad when my parents got divorced, my brother when he committed suicide, my other brother who died of complications to a gunshot wound). The brain doesn’t know the situation, it just understands the feeling and so I reacted irrationally and caused arguments that had NOTHING to do with the situation at hand. I was dealing with a trigger from my past. Click here to get my Inner Child Healing E-guide to heal from your childhood wounds.
✨I didn’t trust men.
👉🏽This was the ultimate let down for me. I never allowed anyone into my heart. It was safer to stay at an arm’s length from people. Vulnerability plays a HUGE role in healthy relationships. This is actually what took my current relationship to greater heights.
Wanna know how I healed??!! Send me a message to join my masterclass for my exact technique!
