I can’t believe I’m telling you this! 🙈
32 years of toxic and unfulfilling relationships!! I could write a book on all my shenanigans.
1992-1996 : Was in a relationship with a boy for 4 years and became a teen mom at 15 years old. He was emotionally abusive and cheated on me while I was pregnant with my son.
1996- 2003 : Was in a 7.5 year relationship with a boy who cheated on me while I was pregnant with my daughter, and was emotionally unavailable. Now mother of two at age 23 in 2001.
2003-2016 : Was with a man for 13 years who never wanted to marry me or have any children. He was emotionally unavailable. Great man but just not for me. 2 years after I left he married a woman within 7 months of knowing her and had a baby immediatey after.
2016 : Was in the dating scene. HARD. All emotionally unavailable men (shocker)!
2016- 2020 : Mid 2016, I was in a long distance relationship off and on for almost 4 years. I thought he was the one. But turns out he wasn’t. And during our “off” time I was in the dating scene again and in a whole situationship off and on with someone for almost that same amount of time. All of these men I dated during this time were emotionally unavailable.
2020-Current : After my breakup – I woke up. I went through a MAJOR inner healing stage. Started clearing my childhood trauma because I started to see a pattern in men. And I was over it!!! And guess what happened? I attracted a beautiful and healthy, emotionally available man who is fully committed to me and treats me like a Queen!!!!
So there it is. The honest truth of my past relationships. I’m a smart girl. I tell myself how the heck did you end up going down that road?? And honestly I didn’t even know I had a pattern. I just figured I had horrible luck with men.
I always wanted that bad boy. The one who never wanted to commit because I always thought I could change them. How could I not? I’m freaking amazing! Why wouldn’t they want to change for me?
Oh that was far from the truth. I chose these men because they were SAFE. They were familiar. They reminded me of a wound I was trying to fill.
That deep void inside from my father leaving and me becoming defiant and saying I would NEVER allow a man in, to hurt me the way he hurt my mom and our family.
And so I subconsciously attracted men who could NEVER lead, and who would NEVER commit.
So here is what I did to change that mindset ⬇️
✨ I had to clear those negative limiting beliefs from my mind!!! This was NOT my story to live. This was my parent’s story. But for so long I carried it around as if were mine. Comment LIMITING BELIEFS to get my e-guide if you want to start that journey yourself.
✨I had to forgive. And not just the people who hurt me. I had to learn to forgive myself. For not knowing any better and for abandoning myself time & time again for survival.
✨I sat in my feelings and I felt them!! Really felt them. Let them pour through me and take over me and then I let them all out. Because they didn’t belong there anymore, stored inside my subconscious mind and pushed down to the depths of me. Creating toxicity. I balled my eyes out and screamed at God to please have mercy and to change my ways.
✨Then I started the process of loving myself. Accepting all that I was and all that I am. Shameful moments of my past and all. I gave myself the most unconditional love and transformation started…
If you want to learn more about how I attracted my beautiful love join our community and enroll in our 11 week course! Click here.
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